Client Craziness

We have had some incredibly strange and stupid client conversations lately.  When I say "We" for the most part I mean our sainted receptionists.  They've had the brunt of them this week. 

Let's start with Stupid.. shall we?  I came up to the front desk where one of the receptionists, Saint J was very obviously trying to disengage a client on the phone, so she could do the rest of her job.  Some of these clients just seem to want to talk.  About EVERYTHING.  Maybe some of them are lonely, or just don't have friends that want to listen to every detail about their precious pets.  Either way, though we try to be as polite as possible when dealing with clients on the phone, there are possibly other things going on.  Maybe there are 6 people at the front desk waiting to be checked in, or the phones (we have multiple lines) are ringing off the hook.  When I arrived, this is what was being said:  "No, sir, I would NOT recommend that."   "I think it would actually end up costing you much more than $300 if you do that"  "And, you could be arrested for animal cruelty.. no I actually am serious."     She eventually got him off the phone.  He had found a male dog.  He thought he would keep it.  However, it needed to be neutered.  So, of course, after hearing the price quote on an exam, vaccines, and a neuter, he thought he'd ask if she thought it was ok to just "band" him to neuter him. (Because, she probably just forgot to give him that option.)  His logic was "they do it to pigs".    By now you are thoroughly horrified and disgusted as you read this.  I'm here to say, it gets dumber.  The reason he needed to get this dog neutered (other than the obvious, good pet owner reason)?  He didn't want this dog to impregnate his Goldendoodle.    Seriously.  He plans to breed her, to what I have no idea.  He just can't have this mongrel dog getting her pregnant.  The last part of the conversation switched to "where can I find a doggy sperm bank around here".  Because of course, he has yet to find the right stud dog for this Doodle.  Now you know why I call them the sainted receptionists.

Next up, we have a story from Saint S, another receptionist.  She took a price quote call from a seemingly normal, intelligent pet owner.  She wanted to know what we charged for vaccines.  Rabies, Distemper, and the Border Collie vaccine.  Saint S thought she heard wrong.  Yes, of course she meant the Bordetella vaccine, which gets called lots of things, like the bordello shot (my personal favorite).  But then, at the end of the conversation she repeated it.  "How much was that Border Collie shot?"  It was an innocent mistake, but how S kept from laughing, I'll never know.  Was the dog a Border Collie?  Uh, no.  It was a Havanese.  It was a black and white Havanese, maybe that was the catch.  What would a Border Collie shot do for your dog?  Make it incredibly intelligent?  Give it the urge to herd livestock?  Give it a tennis ball obsession??  So many questions.

This next story is one you've already heard if you are one of my facebook friends, but I needed to add it to this group.  A small toy breed comes in for vaccinations and grooming.  She is 10 months old, and quite overdue for boosters.  When the technician gives them the estimate for what would be done that day, he said "Oh no, we won't be needing that Rabies shot, her little teeth would never even break skin".  Really?  Small dogs actually CAN'T bite?  How do they each hard kibble?  Considering most groomers will tell you if they have been bitten by a dog, it was by a toy breed, this is just not good information.  After a short talk on the importance of the rabies vaccine, the little dog is now protected. 

Last, today I had a Scottish Terrier come in, who has been a regular for me for a few years.  He is a horrible brat, and in all those years, I've never been able to brush out his face.  Why?  Because I can't remove the muzzle he is required to wear for the grooming.  I'm not willing to risk my hands to brush his face.  The owner started coming to me because she was kicked out of the last groomer's place.  They told her they wouldn't groom him without sedation.  I get him done, but I refuse to brush his face.   I'm the only one who can muzzle him for the vet, who he is even worse for.   These people KNOW this dog is nasty.  They can't brush his face either.   You are probably thinking: That dog's face must be one solid matt!   My answer to you?  No clue, I would never actually touch this dog's face, it's too dangerous.  They, however are in denial and like to tell me he is the "best dog they've ever had", and "he's so sweet".  Today, the husband dropped him off.  He was carrying him in his arms.  He offered to hand him to me, which I turned down.  I told him the dog didn't really like me, and probably wouldn't want me to carry him.  The owner feigned surprise, and said "I can't believe he isn't good for you!" "This dog is perfect at home!"  "You can do anything to him, you can lay on him, you can ride him.."  RIDE HIM????  This is a Scottie!  He is maybe 12 inches tall at the shoulders.  Who rides him?  A baby?  A Gnome?  A Monkey?  No clue, but I had no time to see if he'd like to elaborate.  It did give me a good laugh, though.

Is it fun to complain?

We have some clients who just love to complain, or at least that's how it seems.  We have to wonder, why do they keep coming back if things are so horrible?  I just have to assume that they complain everywhere they go, it's just a way of life for these people.  Does it hurt to be satisfied?  I don't get it.  Today J had to deal with one of her complainers. 

Mrs. S. apparently really loves the way J does her dog, though you'd never know it.  She once brought the dog to a "cheaper" (her words, not ours) groomer, and had to bring her to J the next day to have her fix the haircut.  After that, she swore she'd stay loyal to J.  She likes to complain. 

She complains the haircut takes too long.  No matter what time J tells her to come, she always comes a half hour earlier, then acts very annoyed and huffy when the dog isn't done.  By the way, she's always the last one in the door in the morning, as she doesn't like to get up too early.  Guess what?  The last dog in the door in the morning does not get to be the first one finished.  Surprising? 

She complains about the cost of the haircut, apparently forgetting the "cheap" groomer experience.    She complains when the dog has to be shorter than she wanted.  Never mind she puts off  the dog's haircuts as long as she can, and doesn't ever brush her.    Here was today's complaining conversation when J brought the dog up at go home.

J:  Wow, Blackie was extra dirty today, I had to give her 2 baths.
This was just an observation, small talk if you will.. the black dog came in grey, she was actually that dirty.  But, hey, dogs get dirty.

Mrs. S:  OH.. is THAT why it was so expensive this time??

J:  No, I charged you the same as last time, and the time before.  I didn't charge for the extra bathing.

Mrs. S:  Well, I spend more on her haircut than I do my own!
Don't even get me started on this comment!  We get it all the time!  You can't think of any reasons why it might be more expensive to have the dog groomed?  Hmm.. Nail trim, full body bath (not just their head!), ears cleaned, brushing out tangles (hopefully you don't have tangles in your hair when you show up at the hairdressers)anal glands expressed..  OH, and wait.. you hold still for your haircut! 

J:  Well, she does have alot of hair.
What else can you say?

Mrs S:  Why WAS she so dirty???
Huh?  How the heck do we know why she is dirty?  Does she think we threw dirt on her when she came in the door?

J:  I don't know, maybe because it's dusty and dirty in the fall.  Do you bathe her at home?

Mrs. S:  NO..That's what I pay you for. 
Nice.

Mr. S dropped the dog off this morning.  He was more pleasant.  When J asked how he wanted the haircut he replied "you always do such a good job, that's why I drive 45 miles to come here".  Well, it's actually 45  miles round trip, but who's counting.  I wish he'd tell his wife that J always does such a good job.

I can only believe that with out a complaint of some sort, Mrs. S's day is not complete.  It gets really old.  I would think it would be exhausting to be that crabby all the time.   We end up working twice as hard to attempt to make these people happy than we do the rest of the clientele.  That is just not ok.  I'm sure anywhere you work there are Mrs. S-type people.  What makes them so unhappy?  I'm sure I'll never know. 

On this election day, something to make you smile.

I know, its serious business.. it's election day!  Don't worry, I voted!  That said, I think we all need a little bit of lighthearted fun, or if you've been reading this blog awhile, you would be right to expect some lighthearted craziness.  You will not be disappointed.

This is one of those "please don't say where you get your dog groomed" moments.  This dog's owner requests him to be shaved, as he's going hunting, and they don't want him to pick up burrs.  Also, it seems he's going to be featured on a local hunting show on TV.   The important part of his haircut?  I have to leave his "mohawk" (really more of  a tuft) on his head, as it's his "personality". 

So, yeah.. I don't find that very attractive.  You see, the tuft only grows long on the brown/liver color on his head.  So, it's really only 1/2 a mohawk? 

Oh my.

It's my hope that it will be a calm day on TV show filming day.  And someone pets him on the head to flatten it down.  A "comb over" of sorts.

Sigh.

Now, are you ready to laugh?????? I sure hope so. 

Here it comes.

This is what I saw in a kennel that came in with a dog brought in to see the Dr.'s today.

Anybody know what that is??

Does this seem familiar?

Yep... it is actually a SHAKE WEIGHT... as seen on T.V.!! HA!!

Who knew it made a good dog toy? 

What you can't see in the photo is that it has teeth marks all over it.  It's a well-used toy!   Apparently it means alot to the dog, as he had to bring it with him when he went to the vet. 

The dog must be pretty strong..  carrying around that weight for fun!

Hope you enjoyed..I know we got a good laugh!

Just down the block from crazy street...

People bring in odd things sometimes for their pets during their stay in our boarding department.  Recently a dog came in with hamburgers.. like from McDonalds.. one to be given each day, along with his dogfood. We had a cat years ago that would come in with his own supply of Whitefish, from the swanky fish shop down the street.  That cat was to get his fish every day at 4 pm.  The cat could tell time very accurately.   You never were late with Scooter's fish, unless you were deaf, that is.

Today a cat came in for boarding.  Along with the usual bedding, large baggie full of toys (many, many toys), and his special food, there was an item we've never seen before in boarding land.  A sound machine.  You know, like the ones people use to play certain noises to help them relax or fall asleep?  The cat had his own sound machine!! Then came the instructions.  He must have the machine dialed to "summer rain" at night.  Then, during daily "naptime" it should be turned to "rainstorm".  The staff checking in the pet for it's stay thought the owner was kidding.  He most certainly was not.  Dead serious.  He then insisted we turn the volume all the way up for kitty.

Some questions.  Does a cat enjoy sounds, other than the sound of the food dish being filled?  I've heard of people leaving the tv on for their dog, and never really bought into it.  Cats just seem too into themselves, to listen to recordings of sound. (?)  How the hell will we know when naptime is?  Don't cats nap 23 hours a day?  What time is bedtime?  So many questions.

J asked the most important one.  Why rain sounds? Anyone know a cat that enjoys rain?  She promptly turned it to "rainforest". (SHH, don't tell on us) It had loud birds chirping, with a little rain for good measure.  The other cat boarding in the next cage was quite interested and immediately started looking for the birdies.  As for the owner of the sound machine?  No change, curled up deep in his blankets, hiding from us all.  

To bathe before brushing, a controversial subject.

I know, I've been lax on blogging, and then I choose a serious, even informative (maybe even boring)subject.  Sorry, it's just a subject I've been meaning to blog about.  I promise, more crazy stories to follow soon.

I (and I'm guessing most groomers) learned it in grooming school.  NEVER, never, NEVER bathe a dog before it's fully brushed out.  It will make the matted coat even more matted.  I followed this rule for years, it was so ingrained in me.  In some cases, it's still true, but luckily I was shown the light. 

I was enlightened when a new groomer came to work with us for a short time.  She put every dog she was grooming right into the tub.  Until this time, we had always "roughed in" each dog before taking them to the tub.  The basic reasoning was that you should cut off excess dirty hair you wouldn't want to spend drying, which that part still holds true.  It also was because we had been told that any matting would most certainly become so tight, there would be no hope of brushing out that dog afterwards.  We saw that it was a time-saver for sure, especially on dogs that we didn't plan on taking much coat off of.  There was just no need to spend the time cutting hair that you would have to go back over after the bath anyway.  We took up the practice on especially the double coated breeds.  Malamutes, Huskies, Shelties, etc.  When you are only going to trim the feet anyway, why put them on the table twice.  The undercoat would just as easily (or actually easier) blow out with the high velocity dryer in the tub, rather than spend the time brushing out coat on a dirty dog. 

We still were wary of bathing matted dogs, even ones with very few matts.  We continued to brush out Poodles, Shih Tzus, Schnauzers, etc.  Then, J and I attended a rare grooming seminar.  There was a speaker there (of course I can't remember her name) that told us that clean hair actually brushes out easier.  The dirt makes each individual hair "sticky", actually causing damage to the coat  by brushing out a dirty coat.  She had visual aids of dirty versus clean hair follicles, showing the clean follicle as a smooth surface. 

Nothing made me a believer more than trying this out on my own dogs.  My older dog in particular has a huge coat, and when I am forced to brush him when he's dirty, it's obviously harder on him and me.  I have to push the brush through his coat.  When he is freshly bathed,(I also use a light conditioner) the brush glides easily (ok, easily, compared to when he's dirty.  The matting doesn't just disappear, that would be nice, though.) through it, and undercoat comes out much easier.  It's really pretty amazing.  I bathe my dogs every other week, just because of this.  I can get away with brushing once a week, and brushing them once on the off week when they are dirty is my limit. 

Here is the key to all this.  You must brush that clean dog out immediately after drying.  Again, this is my own trial and error proof.  Sometimes, I bathe my dogs and then at the end of a long day at work, I decide I am too lazy to fully brush them out, something that takes 40-60 minutes per dog.  BIG mistake.  I go back the very next day, and now the matts really ARE tighter and harder to deal with.  I have no idea why 24 hours would make such a difference, but I have learned from this mistake.

That reason is why I rarely give away this trick to my clients.  They already bathe and bathe without any brushing, and if I gave them the green light to bathe before brushing, they would inevitably forget the brushing part of the instructions.  So, I still tell most average owners to brush before bathing, as at least they will then sometimes do some brushing.  I do have some above average clients that are privy to this knowledge.

Some matts will never come out easily, and this trick doesn't always work.  Certain coat types are very cottony and the matts, no matter how clean and conditioned are a permanent fixture.  Sometimes I can't even tell until after a bath.  Some coats I predict I will have to shave, but will give one last ditch effort by heavily conditioning after the bath, and it turns out the tangles won't budge.  At least I try.  Then sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised by the result when the coat brushes out relatively easily.

The really impressive ones are definitely the double coated breeds.  Many of them appear to be a solid matted pelt.  We put them right in the tub, and all the undercoat, most of which was also matted, flys to the top and easily brushes out.  We'd never put a dog through a "dirty" brushing in this condition, we'd have to shave it.  That is seriously how much of a difference it is.  We still have to do some creative shaving on these dogs, usually in the rear end, and neck on stubborn matts, but for the most part, it's like the dog in the previous post, a huge transformation.  Also, any dogs with some sort of "wiry" texture to their coat will nearly always brush out after bathing.  So, this helps with really nice quality Poodles and Bichons (when I come across them), not to mention any Terriers . Of course, my own breed is supposed to have a harsh coat, so perhaps that is why it works so well on them.  If you have access to a high velocity dryer you can also sometimes "blast" apart matts, loosening them in the tub, which also helps with the brushing process.

I still rough in any dogs that will have alot of coat taken off in the end. There is just not enough time to dry all that.   I just chop (literally, it's not pretty by any means) coat off the top, and don't bother to brush out the matting before I bathe.  It is a huge savings on blades and shears to clip clean dogs as well.  Dirty hair dulls blades very quickly, and sharpening isn't cheap. 

I hope that if you are a groomer and haven't tried brushing tangles out of a clean dog, this post will encourage you to try it.   Those of you pet/show owners, that groom your own dogs and keep somewhat of a control on the matting should try it as well.    I promise it will be easier on you and your dog.

edit:  I want to be clear that I also completely (or very close to it) dry the dogs after bathing.  I don't brush them while they are wet.  In re-reading this I realize I wasn't clear on that.

Praising the High Velocity Dryer

Many of you saw this dog's transformation on facebook, but I thought I needed to clarify some things, and the rest of the readers can enjoy as well.

This dog a very large,(bordering on small Collie) Sheltie came in to be groomed.  J groomed him last year.  Her notes state "what a mess, 9 months since last groom", followed by the breakdown of the price, including the very large de-matting charge.   

It's been 14 months this time, and obviously he hadn't been touched by a brush since the last groom.

 

This photo shows him after his bath.  He had incredible amounts of undercoat most of which was matted.  The dog didn't come in looking like this.  Shelties don't "usually" blow their coat out in tufts like some breeds (Lab/German Shepherd) do.  The undercoat stays in the coat until brushed out.  He was filthy, but the coat wasn't hanging like it is here.  In fact, from afar, you wouldn't even have known he was a mess.

 

The minute you put a hand on him however, you knew.. his undercoat lay in a thick carpet of matting along his skin.  Did I start out the groom by brushing him?  NO WAY!  He immediately went to the tub.  The combination of our Hydrosurge Bathing System (I still need to do a blog post about that baby)  and a high velocity blow dryer is what makes this job actually alot easier on me, but especially the dog.  After a thorough deep cleaning bath (ok, in his case 2 as he was too dirty for just one), and a conditioner that we leave in;  I toweled him off , then started the blowdryer.  That is one piece of equipment I couldn't do dogs like this without.  The dryer blows the matted undercoat (on this type of double coated breed) away from the skin.  On a shorter coated dog, such as a German Shepherd, the coat goes flying into the air, against the back of the tub, all over me, etc.  In this case with a longer coat, some of it blows out, but much of it stays hanging on the dog, which is where we get the look of the dog in the photo.   I probably spent around 15 minutes blowing coat out of him.  If you didn't use this type of dryer, and them moved him to a cage dryer, the coat would dry plastered to the skin, just like it was when it was dirty, though alot of  it would still brush out, it would be harder on the dog, since the dryer does the "brushing" with no pulling or tugging.  After a time in the cage dryer,  ( the dogs are always watched closely and the dryers have timers and are not hot, just warm)  we then put them on the table and start brushing.  That coat that is hanging there virtually falls out.  Then, what's left takes a bit more elbow grease.  After some brushing we go back to a high velocity, to finish getting all undercoat that is ready to blow.  This particular dog also got some creative clipping, as some matts were too tight to brush/blow out.  I shaved out inside his legs, all the way from his chest to his groin, behind his ears.  It didn't show, and I see no need to brush hair that is matted badly in those places.  The dog spent enough time on the table.

 

 

This is what I got out AFTER the bath.  This pile is about 3 inches deep.    I got a ton more out in the tub.

 

Luckily, this dog was ready to blow his coat.  By that, I mean it was "time" for his coat to shed out.  Some dogs undercoat is matted, but it's not the right time of year for that dog to shed out, and we can't get this much out.  We can only take what the dog can give us.  Timing is crucial, some people bring their dogs in at the wrong time, and they go out with a clean, de-matted dog, but he's still thick coated and in a month, the hair will by falling out everywhere.   When I talk to people about timing the groom for the best result, I tell them to gently tug on a chunk of their dogs coat, if it easily falls out, then it's time.  If not, maybe wait a bit.  Of course this dog should've been groomed 3 times before this groom, so it's not the best example.    Underneath the matting and undercoat was flaky unhealthy skin, luckily no sores, sometimes there are.  I can't imagine what that must feel like. 

 

 

Here he is all finished, a very satisfying transformation.  He was so good for all this, many dogs wouldn't have stood still for all that time.  When you touch him now, you can actually feel down to his skin.  he must feel so much better.

 

Regular brushing on these breeds (Once a week or even every 2 weeks) would keep them from ever getting this much undercoat, but of course, hardly anyone ever does it. During the time they are blowing coat, the amount of coat you can remove with the high velocity dryer is more than you'd ever be able to remove by brushing alone. I'd suggest people buy them for their dogs at home, they are somewhat inexpensive depending on the power, but the hair does fly everywhere when you use it, and I can't imagine anyone would even want that in their garage. 

 

These pictures show why sometimes when people with a double coated breed (German Shepherds, Huskies, Malamutes, Collies, Golden Retrievers) call and tell us, "he just needs a bath" we laugh.  We don't do "just a bath" on these breeds, they get a full groom.  In many ways they take longer than a poodle that comes in regularly for a haircut.

 

My suggestion to anyone with these breeds?  Find a groomer that can take care of your dog even twice a year, you won't be disappointed.

 

T. M. I.

Many times we find out things about our clients that we just don't want to know.  Friday was no exception.

A man brought in his dog for a groom, and immediately started apologizing that his wife wasn't there to drop the dog off.  Here comes the TMI part..  He then went on to say that his wife had eaten "too much licorice" and now had "the diarrhea".  Nice.  I'm sure his wife appreciates her intestinal distress issues being broadcast to virtual strangers. 

Of course, who knew that too much licorice can cause problems, other than sugar overload?  I guess that information could be helpful.  (?)  I do learn something new every day.   It must have been black licorice.. I hate black licorice.

Of course, the informational overload didn't stop there.  His wife sent a note.  We haven't had a good note in a while.

In case you can't quite read it, it says "Short all over.  Clean face please.  Some off tail - Just a trim there."  AND... the most important part "Just like last time- it was perfect"

So.. if it was perfect last time.. why waste all that effort writing a note, with detailed instructions when a "same as last time" would've sufficed?  Story of our lives. *sigh.