Why I think retractable leashes should be outlawed.

I've been saying this for years.  I HATE retractable leashes. 

I have a friend that is a bit offended by this.  I guess there are people that know how to use them, or have dogs that are under control enough that they could use them.  Maybe there should be a class on how to use them.

What's the big deal, you may ask?  Perhaps you haven't seen what I see nearly every day.

Retractable  leashes are simple to use, right?  You just hold on to the handle and ZINGggg  (that's the sound it makes, in case you've never used one)... your dog can run out to the end, much farther than the boring, old fashioned, six foot leash.  Then, if your dog comes back towards you, it retracts back into the handle.. pretty slick feature... or so you think. 

Why the strange dislike of such an incredible invention?   If you really want to know, keep reading.   If not, maybe go check your facebook page, or do some online shopping.

 Most dogs are not under control.  At all.  So, giving them 30 odd FEET of leash, instead of the average 6, really doesn't work too well.  We have dogs come into our clinic on them all the time .  The dogs run everywhere, behind the counter, up to other dogs, etc.  No control, at all.  When I taught puppy class, people tried to use them to train their dogs.  Really?  We finally had to ban them from class.  It just wasn't working.

But, they have a LOCK on them, you say!!  A LOCK! So the dog doesn't have to have the full 30 feet!  Yeah, no one I know uses that lock.  In fact, when I am trying to avert a dogfight after being handed one of these leashes, I've locked them for the client, who then acts very offended that their baby cannot get any freedom when I do that.  It's immediately unlocked.  Who cares if your 8 month old Pug just ran up to a very large Pit Bull mix who doesn't like other dogs??  He needs his freedom!

At the very least I'd like to put a limit on the amount of retractable leashes one person can handle at a time.  I'd like that limit to be ONE (1).  We have one client who brings in 3.. wow, that's a handful.  She's actually one of the best retractable leash wranglers we see, but still there are some times when the dogs are so tangled up, it takes a while for us to get them separated. 

Dogs also get loose alot on these leashes.  They learn how to run as fast as they can to the end of them, then the large handle pops out of the unsuspecting owner's hand and it goes flying.  Then we have a dog running with a large plastic leash handle bang, bang, banging behind them, which makes them run all the faster. 

The other problem with these gems, and the reason I feel a class is in order to own one, is a simple one.  These leashes only retract if the dog actually comes  towards you.  If you in fact want your dog to come away from whatever danger the dog has decided to visit while on his leash, you have to get them to come to you.  So you have to walk towards the dog, and lock it, then walk towards them and lock it, repeat, repeat, repeat.  It's kind like reeling in a fish, but harder.  The average person has no concept of how to do this, so it never goes well.  It's hard enough to do this with one dog, but try doing it with two or three unruly dogs.  Now, that's entertaining.

Ever had a rope burn?  Well, see what happens if you (or worse yet, your child) grabs on to the cord part of the leash as the dog takes off.  Ouch.  Unsteady on your feet?  Some dogs will wrap the leash around and around their owners legs, and we have to help them out of it.  It's a sure fire way to break a hip, so please don't let Grandma use one.  They also tangle in dog's legs.  It's a great way for them to get hurt as well.

I have hated these leashes for a very long time, but recently J was told a story that made me swear them off forever.  She met a person who had actually lost part of their finger to a retractable leash.  She somehow got her finger tangled in the cord, and her very large Lab took off after something, and  part of her finger actually was pulled off!!  Yikes, that is insane! 

Yes, I know the main company known for making these leashes no longer uses the cord, and now have a "tape" type leash instead.  I wonder just how many people lost their fingers before that happened?  Pretty scary. 

Don't be offended by this post if you have no problems with your retractable leash and think it's the best thing since sliced bread, it just means your dog is actually trained.  I just don't get to see trained dogs very often.  This is possibly why I am so bitter.  I bet I'll find some readers that agree with me. 

Things that made me smile, laugh and cry.

Again, it's been too long since my last blog post, so here is a quick recap of the highs and lows of the last few weeks.

What made me smile?  Well, lots of things, there is a reason I love my job.   1st off, there has been a huge influx of new puppies coming to me lately.  I love puppies.  They are difficult sometimes, but I love to hug them, smell their puppy breath and teach them things.  I had Shih Tzu babies, a Yorkie, a Havanese, to name a few.  It's fun to give them that first haircut, and to see the owners face, when they see the makeover. 

I had a new poodle puppy coming in with an elderly man.  He told me she "likes to nip" and he wanted me to be very careful when I groomed her.  It was her 1st groom, and he had been brushing her (YAY).  He knew what type of haircut he wanted, but he told me that I'd know better what girls need than him. :).  It was obvious this little spitfire was his pride and joy.  Before we parted ways and he left her with me.  He took me by the shoulders and looked right into my eyes, he said "if you do a good job I will give you $5 extra".  Then, he dug in his pocket and showed me the five dollar bill and said "maybe I should give it to you right now!".  I pushed away his money and told him to wait and see her haircut first.    He came to pick her up after I had left for the day, and no tip was left.  I didn't really think much of it, but I did wonder how he liked her haircut and her hot pink bows, when I came to work the next day.  I was called to the front later that morning, and there he was, with a big smile on his face and my five dollar bill.  He told me he loved the haircut and before he left, he gave me a big hug.  What a sweet guy.  I'm sure the smile never left my face the rest of the day.

Things that made me laugh?  The kid who told J that his Springer Spaniel was a "Secret Agent"!  HA!  I've no idea what that means, but it's just awesome!  Then there was the lady who has us put a mohawk on her small dog, but then wanted the beard left rounder, "so he doesn't look so mean".  Ok...

This made me laugh as well.

Check out those eyelashes!  This dog is only 8 months old!  How long will they get???

I love this one, my niece learning to groom thanks to J's incredibly patient Golden Retriever.  Love that dog!  She actually did a really good job on his feet!  Good thing she's only 11.. my knees wouldn't take kneeling on the cement for long.

Things that made me cry?

This week two clients lost very special dogs.  Both of them had been grooming clients since they were tiny pups.  One of them came for daycare every day for a year.  I hate that part of my job.  I've been grooming so long, I've seen some clients lose 2 or 3 pets now, I am privileged to have known them their whole lives. 

This also made me cry just today, but in a good way.

Good clients of mine had lost their older dog, and told me that the remaining one was having a hard time without her.  They were interested in a a certain breed, and sometimes I groom good rescue prospects for the local animal shelter, so I told her I'd keep her in mind, and let her know if any came through.

One did, he was around 5 or 6 and so incredibly sweet.  He did have some issues, he had horrible ear infections and his skin was not healthy at all.  The vet that saw him warned the shelter that his new owners would have to be made aware that these problems would likely be lifelong.  Not everyone can afford to care for a dog with chronic skin and ear problems, and not everyone is willing to deal with the constant medicating.  It made me sad that he might be overlooked at the shelter, or worse yet, go to a home that would continue neglecting him as he so obviously had been in the prior situation.

I thought about it, and decided to call my clients after all.  I told her of his problems, but also told her I wouldn't ever have considered calling her if he wasn't so sweet.  The hope was that with good care, he would become healthier to some extent.  She was excited, and said she would go over and take a look at him.  I never heard back from her, and didn't want to call and ask.  Maybe he wasn't a good fit, or maybe the state of his ears put her off. 

Today I groomed him!  The whole family loves him.  The best part?  His ears look like a normal dog's ears!!!  It's amazing, only a month later!  The vet couldn't believe it.  He does still have his skin allergies, but they are pretty minor.  I tear up just typing this.. he got a second chance with that family.  I'm so happy for them all.  As she left, she too gave me a hug, and said she couldn't thank me enough for finding them that wonderful dog.  I told her that he was really the lucky one, but I don't think she believes me.  

I love my job.

2 Simple Words

Thank you.

They mean more than most people think.  Sure, we were all taught to say please and thank you as kids, but sometimes adults fail to use those words enough.  It doesn't always "go without saying".

I had a stressful day.  Lots of huge stinky dogs, plus some unreasonable go home times. I ran from 8 AM til 3 PM.  That doesn't seem so long, you say, but I did 10 full grooms in that amount of time.  3 Golden retrievers.. one of which weighed 106 lbs (it should weigh 75).  All 3 had been swimming all summer long, stunk to high heaven and were quite matted. Plus the other 7, no easy baths for me today.  I would have loved to have ended my day at 4, but everyone was in a hurry.  I did what I had to do, and made it work.

One of the dogs I did was a new client.  A girl in her early 20's and her 10 month old smallish mixed breed puppy.  She had lots of instructions, and lots of bad things to say about the dog's last groom, done somewhere else.  Apparently the dog had to be shaved, but she admitted that the groomer had no other choice, as it was matted. She told me she had a comb, and they were doing their best to keep the coat up, so they wanted it left long.  She actually had been brushing.. imagine my relief.  I COULD actually give her what she wanted, at least I hoped I could.  She was pretty specific.  Her first idea was that she wanted the dog to be the exact length it was now.. for winter.  Uh..  he was shaved bald 4 months ago.. I explained.  Oh, yeah, well, she didn't want that.  I explained the way it would work, that a longer cut would mean more frequent grooms, as well as her continued work on brushing his coat at home.  She wanted the tail like a fan.. but not too short.  She wanted the face short.. it drags in his water, but not too short, still cute.  The last groomer made it look like a Schnauzer, they didn't want that.  She stated that she did not want his anal glands expressed.  I told her that glands are included in the groom, but that would be no problem if she didn't want it done.  She said, maybe  I could do it next time, "we'll see how this goes first".  I don't want him traumatized this time (this time?).   The last groomer said he was very well behaved, but when he got home, he slept for the rest of the day, she was concerned something had happened.  I explained that any time a dogs routine is changed, there is a certain amount of stress.  She seemed doubtful, and then I made her even more nervous, when I told her he would have to stay 4 hours.  I could tell this was an "test" grooming, and I better pass.. or we'd never see her again, and of course the next groomer would hear how badly I messed up.

The girl's boyfriend picked the dog up, and though she assured me that HE was the picky one, all he had to say when he picked him up was "he's really soft".  Ok... guessing I failed this one. 

The day went on, lifting heavy dogs, etc, etc.  Right about the time when I really didn't need to spend time on the phone, I was told that the dog's owner was on the phone wanting to speak with me.  Many times this isn't good.. complaints coming my way.  But no!  She was just calling to tell me thank you for doing such a great job on him!  His cut was great, and she anxiously awaited bringing him back to see me again!  WHAT?  My bad mood lifted.. like magic.   She didn't have to call, she could have waited til the next groom to tell me that she loved the last cut.  But she didn't, and I appreciate that.

I am lucky to work in a place where thank you's are frequent among my co-workers.  I try to remember to thank the person who helped me lift a heavy dog, or held one still for me, or cleaned the messy cage I couldn't get to.   We have an amazing maintenance man, who keeps everything running smoothly for us.   I appreciate my receptionists so much, they try very hard to help keep my schedule livable, I'm sure I don't thank them enough. 

It's amazing what those two little words can do. Never underestimate their power.

I'm telling you.. Doodle HELL.

This was a crazy week.  Our schedule has exploded into booked-solid madness.  That makes me happy.  It also makes me tired.  Hard work = bigger paycheck, it's easy math.

Tuesday actually wasn't crazy.  I was annoyed at the time, but I now appreciate that easy day.  I had 3 no shows, all new clients.   The truth about this kind of no show is that they couldn't get into their regular groomer, and went into panic mode.  Since we are one of the few places with more than one groomer, we generally can get people in sooner.  Invariably, these people get in at their regular place, and "forget" to cancel.  Really rude. 

The rest of the week was pretty nuts.  Lots of big messy dogs, lots of time consuming haircuts.  None was worse than Wednesday. 

I was a bit overbooked.  OF course, no one ever no shows when I'd like them to.  I was doing pretty well, until I went up front to take in a new "Golden Retriever Mix" client.  I was a bit shocked to see this:

I'm sad to say.. my poker face probably failed me.  I'm sure I completely gave away the fact that I was completely deflated by the realization that there was a Doodle attached to this Golden Retriever Mix's lineage.  Damn.   I kind of wanted to cry. This was the before.. It doesn't look that bad, and thankfully it was in decent shape, but I cut off 1/2 it's hair, and it was much more work than a Golden Mix that looked like a Golden would be.  Thankfully, the owner was not in a hurry, and the dog was perfectly behaved.  The correct term for this mix (actually I'm really happy the owner KNOWS it's a mix) would be Standard Poodle mix.  Yeah.. next time.

Just to show you that even the little ones were a mess on Wednesday.. here is a Westie.. before.  Nope, no time for an after shot, sorry.

This one shows just how dirty this little guy was, I refused to touch him with my clippers til he was bathed.  He lives on a cow farm.:

But then, in the midst of all the running around trying to stay on time, came the really crazy part of my day.  A request from the front desk to give a quote for a bath.  A BATH.. that should be quick, right?? RIGHT???

Me:  Hi, this is D, how can I help you.

Mr. Crazyperson:  Hi!!! (yep, with enthusiasm)  I have a Goldendoodle.  How much would you charge for a bath on her.  She really doesn't need any trimming yet.

Me:  Is she a puppy?

CP:  OH NO! (he starts talking a mile a minute)  She is 2 years old, smarter than any 50 year old.  (at this point I really wanted to ask if he was 50, I'm guessing so)  She's such a nice dog.  She rolled in the swamp the other day, and she was black up to her chest.  I had to drag her into the bathroom to clean her up. She hates the bathroom, I wonder why? (doesn't wait for a response).  I just think she needs a bath, how much would that be?

Me:  Well, what size is she? Do you know how much she weighs? 

CP:  How much she weighs??? HMM.. Maggie, How much do you weigh?? Why won't you tell me?? HAHA.. she is just like any other female.. she doesn't want to tell her weight.

Me:  (remember, I'm on a time schedule.. and I honestly have paraphrased the conversation up til now.. it was actually more wordy on his part)  Well, is she a full-sized Goldendoodle?  We do see Miniature ones.

CP: Oh, around 50 lbs.

I give him a price, then he asks for a full groom price, which takes another huge chunk of time while we talk in circles about the correct cut for a Goldendoodle.  I then try to pass him back to the receptionist.

Me:  Well, I don't have my schedule in front of me, so I'm going to have you speak to F again, and she will get that all sorted out. 

CP:  Oh, ok.  Well, I'd like to get in next Friday.  My daughter and I are going on a road trip and Maggie is going with us.  He then goes on to tell me the exact route, including which roads he will take.  Seriously?

I finally disengage myself from him after 10 minutes of this discussion.  When F came back later in the day, I asked her if she thought the guy was drunk, or at least had possible taken one to many trips to Starbucks that day?  She had the same problem with him.  She started the conversation out with "when would you like to make your appointment" and ended the conversation with a discussion on artificial insemination.  Yes, my friends, he wants to breed his Goldendoodle.  He told her he had been reading up on it, and knew that sometimes dogs just "aren't in the mood" and you were forced to artificially inseminate.  He then went on to tell her all about how the semen is obtained.  Really?? It made my road trip story seem like the better end of the deal.

He did make the appointment.  I can't wait to see this guy in person.  It should be very interesting! I'm kind of scared.  Of course, who knows if he will actually show up.

Have a great weekend! 

Anatomy Lesson and Randomness

1st, Randomness.  I've been too busy for blogging lately, so better catch up on these random thoughts before they leave my brain.

This past week was my birthday, and one of my awesome friends gave me this hilarious card

The inside says: Have a great birthday, any way you cut it!.

It's been extremely hot here, a few days it even made it to 100 degrees.  This makes everyone crabby, just FYI.   One client who walked into the clinic from the inferno which was the great outdoors told the receptionist:  "You people sure aren't afraid to use the air conditioner, BRR!"  Really?  The receptionist went and checked the temp.. it was 72.  Perhaps she'd rather her dog stayed somewhere that wasn't air conditioned?  Wow.

The receptionists called back to the grooming room, saying that there was a new client on the phone, who wanted to find out if we could do a certain haircut, before he made an appointment.  I figured for sure he had a Basenjidoodle, and wanted it in a puppy cut.  Instead he had a Golden Retriever, that he wanted shaved.  "Have you ever done that cut?"... "Yes, we do that cut all the time".  " You know, the one where the body and legs are shaved, and the tail is left longer? You have to leave the tail longer or the dog will go crazy." "Yes, we can do that (I ignore the tail comment)"  Well, I just need to know that someone can do it that has done this cut before, I don't want a hack job from someone who is just starting out".  "Yes, both J and I have been here over 20 years each, and we both can do that groom for you"  "Ok, I was just checking".

Would you believe after all that, he never even made an appointment?  He wanted to get in next week.. no way he can get in that soon.  *Sigh* I wish he would've started with that small detail, it would have saved us both some precious time.

Just to show you what lengths my clients go to cut down on their dog's shedding, here is a before and after.

No, really.  This IS the before~!  I have to shave this dog! 

YES, REALLY!

TA DA!  What a huge difference! ;)  Hey, I do what they pay me to do, what can I say.  They tell me it cuts down on the shedding SO MUCH.  Whatever floats your boat, I guess..

And finally, best crazy client story of the week.  Warning: actual use (and some slang) of anatomy names to follow, don't read if you are easily offended by such things.

There was an appointment on the books which said that the client had requested that a technician do the dog's anal glands, and also that they should shave the dog's vulva.  When the client came in, she nervously started dancing around the subject, saying that the dog had trouble if "her rear" wasn't shaved close due to a skin issue. 

I just let her talk, which apparently made her nervous and wonder if I knew exactly what she meant.  So, she said, "You know... well, I don't even know what to call it...  Where she pees?"  I finally took pity on her and said, " Yes, her vulva needs to be closely shaved".  "Does the clinic need to do that? I always do that as a rule with her grooming." 

The client said that would be fine, but then leaned in to whisper to me.  "Just make sure you do it really short, the clinic did it so short last time, you could see her balls." (??????)

I just smiled and said, Ok.  It's been a long week.  When I relayed the story to my kennel helper for the day, she said "does she mean the dog's ovaries?"  That would be REALLY short! HA!  I needed that laugh. 



Most interesting (?) grooming instructions to date, and randomness.

1st, randomness.

The Cocker from the this post was adopted the very next day, by a really nice guy, who has told me he will be bringing him back for grooming with me.  I'm so glad he is well-loved.  Apparently the dog is "scary perfect" housebroken, loves the Grandkids, and never barks.  Why are these dogs at humane societies?  I don't have a clue, but I'm so grateful there are places like this to help unwanted pets. 

I groomed the Weinerschnitzel.. they were wrong, it was really a WeinerSHITzel.  No, he wasn't mixed with a Shih Tzu.. he was just a very naughty dog.   I groomed 3 Dachshunds that day, and only one didn't have to be muzzled.  I'm just not a fan of the Weinershitzels..

And finally, the instructions I was given for a Maltese.  Even better, these instructions were given to me in a strong Texas accent.

"Do his face really short.  When you are done, he should look like one of those Harp Seals.   You know the ones they hit over the head with a club to kill them?"  O... K...  sure.. I know that haircut.   The guy loved this dog..don't worry.  After I had the tiny little canine in my arms the owner had to go in for a kiss on the dog's face.  It was a bit too much in my bubble.  If I would've had time, I would have handed him back for the kissing part.  By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late.  I think I was still picturing the death of a baby Harp Seal.. it's hard to shake that image.  T.G.I.F.

I'm really not in the mood.

Today's little slice of crazy.

A new employee of ours came back to ask me for a quote on a dog, as the owner waited on the phone.

Me:  What kind of dog is it?

H:  A Weinerschnitzel.

Me:  Uh.. what is that? 

H:  Weinerdog something?  I'm not sure.   It sounds like they just want a bath and nail trim. 

Me:  I better talk to them, It could be a long-haired dog or something..

H: Line one.

Me:  Hi, this is D, one of the groomers, H tells me you would like to know how much for a grooming on your dog.  What type of dog is it?

Client:  A little Weinerschnitzel.

Me:  Uh.. I'm afraid I don't know what that is.

Client:  Oh, ha ha, a Dachshund.

Me:  A Dachshund mix? 

Client:  No, a purebred Dachshund.

She said Weinerschnitzel so seriously, both H and I thought she had some designer breed.. Wow.  I just don't have time for this crap.  Really.