Friday, July 6, 2012

Anatomy Lesson and Randomness

1st, Randomness.  I've been too busy for blogging lately, so better catch up on these random thoughts before they leave my brain.

This past week was my birthday, and one of my awesome friends gave me this hilarious card

The inside says: Have a great birthday, any way you cut it!.

It's been extremely hot here, a few days it even made it to 100 degrees.  This makes everyone crabby, just FYI.   One client who walked into the clinic from the inferno which was the great outdoors told the receptionist:  "You people sure aren't afraid to use the air conditioner, BRR!"  Really?  The receptionist went and checked the temp.. it was 72.  Perhaps she'd rather her dog stayed somewhere that wasn't air conditioned?  Wow.

The receptionists called back to the grooming room, saying that there was a new client on the phone, who wanted to find out if we could do a certain haircut, before he made an appointment.  I figured for sure he had a Basenjidoodle, and wanted it in a puppy cut.  Instead he had a Golden Retriever, that he wanted shaved.  "Have you ever done that cut?"... "Yes, we do that cut all the time".  " You know, the one where the body and legs are shaved, and the tail is left longer? You have to leave the tail longer or the dog will go crazy." "Yes, we can do that (I ignore the tail comment)"  Well, I just need to know that someone can do it that has done this cut before, I don't want a hack job from someone who is just starting out".  "Yes, both J and I have been here over 20 years each, and we both can do that groom for you"  "Ok, I was just checking".

Would you believe after all that, he never even made an appointment?  He wanted to get in next week.. no way he can get in that soon.  *Sigh* I wish he would've started with that small detail, it would have saved us both some precious time.

Just to show you what lengths my clients go to cut down on their dog's shedding, here is a before and after.

No, really.  This IS the before~!  I have to shave this dog! 

TA DA!  What a huge difference! ;)  Hey, I do what they pay me to do, what can I say.  They tell me it cuts down on the shedding SO MUCH.  Whatever floats your boat, I guess..

And finally, best crazy client story of the week.  Warning: actual use (and some slang) of anatomy names to follow, don't read if you are easily offended by such things.

There was an appointment on the books which said that the client had requested that a technician do the dog's anal glands, and also that they should shave the dog's vulva.  When the client came in, she nervously started dancing around the subject, saying that the dog had trouble if "her rear" wasn't shaved close due to a skin issue. 

I just let her talk, which apparently made her nervous and wonder if I knew exactly what she meant.  So, she said, "You know... well, I don't even know what to call it...  Where she pees?"  I finally took pity on her and said, " Yes, her vulva needs to be closely shaved".  "Does the clinic need to do that? I always do that as a rule with her grooming." 

The client said that would be fine, but then leaned in to whisper to me.  "Just make sure you do it really short, the clinic did it so short last time, you could see her balls." (??????)

I just smiled and said, Ok.  It's been a long week.  When I relayed the story to my kennel helper for the day, she said "does she mean the dog's ovaries?"  That would be REALLY short! HA!  I needed that laugh. 


  1. Ha! You get all the crazy ones alright. When I have a female dog and I want her shaved enough to see her balls, I am SO bringing her to you ;p

  2. You really do earn your paycheck some weeks! :-)