Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Do the Humpty Hump

Today's hilarious phone conversation was relayed to me by S, one of our awesomely patient receptionists.

Clueless Client:  Hi, I just don't know what I should do, my little puppy has already started humping things.  What can I do to stop him from doing that?

S:  How old is he?

C C:  He's just a little puppy,  only 9 months old.

S:  Well, first I'd recommend you get him neutered, that would probably help the issue alot.

C C:  Oh, I think he's way too young, though.. why would he be acting this way!?

S:  He is certainly old enough, what kind of dog is he?

C C: I'm not sure what kind of dog he is.  He's very small though, only (?????) 55 lbs.

S:  Well, he is old enough, you should also think about making sure you watch him when he is outside, chances are at his age he may start wandering to find a female. 


S: Yes, he is actually old enough to father a litter of puppies.   Can I get you an estimate on how much neutering him will cost?

C C:  Well.. isn't there some food I can give him, so he'll stop the humping??

What S wanted to say:  Sure, come on over and get a big bag of Hump-be-gone, and that will solve the problem.  I don't know WHY I didn't mention that to begin with!

Patience of a saint!  How could you not burst out laughing!!!??

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Lucky dog!

Today, a friend  came from two hours away, to have his dog fluffed, buffed, conditioned and to have her nails done.  After she left me, looking and smelling great, she was headed to a hour long massage. 

Most humans don't have that kind of awesome Valentines Day, at least this human sure doesn't! 

I (along with the vet clinic I work for) donate groomings to our local humane society.  I love doing it, and hope the dogs get a home faster with a fresh haircut.  I was surprised when the "Terrier mix" they said they had for me, turned out to be a purebred Welsh Terrier!  She was brought in as a stray from animal control. Why didn't someone look for this dog???  It amazes me how many purebreds there are in the shelters.  I can't say it enough.. spay and neuter your pets!!  She is a sweetie, and I'm confident she will find her new home quickly!



One of the girls I work with actually didn't believe it was the same dog, once I was done.  It was a pretty fun transformation.  

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Blame Game

Today, we had a typical "blamer" come in.  These people like to make excuses about why their dog is matted and/or overdue for a groom.

Client:  I want you to leave Fluffy longer than last time.

Groomer:  Well, that really isn't possible today.  Looks like Fluffy hasn't been in to see us since August.  Bichons do need to come in for haircuts a bit more often than that.  I'm afraid he will actually have to be shorter than he was in August, due to the matted condition of his coat.

Client:  Well, I TRIED to get him in at Christmas and YOU were too busy to fit him in!  That is why he is matted. 

* What we'd like to say*

Yes, I'm sure it is our fault that although you have been getting Fluffy groomed here for 11 years, and should have known we are busy at Christmas,  you didn't get the appointment you wanted.

Perhaps you could have brushed Fluffy, even though you couldn't get in for a haircut.

IT IS NOW FEBRUARY 10TH!!!!!!!!!  Why didn't you bring him in AFTER Christmas?  We had openings pretty much every day from December 26th until today.

Hmm.. Fluffy should have had 2 haircuts between August and now.. what happened in October?  Pretty sure we weren't too busy.

On a more pleasant, less bitchy note...

This stunning Labrador was groomed by J.  She is headed to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show.  We hope she wins the breed, so we can see her on TV!  
Good Luck, Lacey!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Little Surprises

Sometimes when you clip a dog's coat off, you get a surprise.  Much of the time,  it's disappointing to the owner, like when a Shih Tzu puppy has lovely dark tips all over it's coat, and once you clip the hair, you are left with a light cream dog.  There's no help for it. Even if you left the dog in full coat, eventually the dog would change to the much more average color eventually.  I try to make sure and warn the owners if I think they have no idea that they will be getting a completely different colored dog back at the end of the day.

This guy was a surprise to us all, the first time we groomed him as a puppy. 

I give you the "before" of this seemingly average Scottish Terrier.

I believe we've established the fact that my phone takes really crappy photos.

 However, once we took off the coat on his back, we got a really fun surprise.

He's Brindle!  It's a very light brindle coloring, too, almost zebra-like!

Here is a rotten photo.. but it shows you what is under there. 

It's amazing, he looks completely black, when his hair is long.  I love grooming him, it's such a transformation.

For those of you who aren't aware, most Scotties strike fear in a groomers heart.  We dread seeing them on our appointment schedule.  There is a good reason for this.  Most Scotties are really not nice for grooming.  At the very least,they hate to have their feet touched. Most of the ones I groom have to be muzzled from start to finish.  I even have one that I haven't EVER gotten the face brushed out on.  The owner doesn't want it sedated, and I don't want to get bit, so I do what I can.  I encourage her to brush her own dog's face at home, but so far it hasn't really happened. 

When I was in grooming school, they warned us about Scotties. I didn't have a chance to groom one before I left school, but the ones I met afterwards, certainly lived up to the reputation.  Little known fact:  Scottish Terriers have teeth that are extremely large for their small size.  Check it out.. if you can ever look in the mouth of a Scottie, you will find teeth the size of a Labrador! I'm serious! Freaky.   

The model in today's blog entry is a very, very good dog. (ok, I still muzzle him for his nails, but for a Scottie, he is pretty much perfect) He either has very good breeding, or excellent owners.  Either way, I love to see him on the books!

Friday, February 3, 2012

The full moon is coming..

Today's blog entry comes to us courtesy of our receptionist's desk. 

Receptionist:  Your pet is seeing the Dr. today.  What seems to be the problem?

Pet Owner:  He's constipated.

Receptionist: Well, we will get a technician up to check you in and then the Dr. will see you.  Did he eat something he shouldn't have?

Pet Owner:  No.  I know what the problem is.  He's constipated because he saw a ghost the other night. 

Receptionist:  (giving the client no reaction at all)  Ok, well the Tech should be up any minute.

I don't know about you, but if I saw a ghost, it would probably have the opposite affect.

So many questions come to mind.

Whose ghost was it? Maybe a recently departed animal friend?  Grandma?
Did the humans all see the ghost too?
If so, how did it affect their digestive tract?
How did the receptionist control her reaction?  I'm pretty sure I could not have.
Was the client on any hallucinogenic drugs?

Beware:  The full moon is coming.