Today's hilarious phone conversation was relayed to me by S, one of our awesomely patient receptionists.
Clueless Client: Hi, I just don't know what I should do, my little puppy has already started humping things. What can I do to stop him from doing that?
S: How old is he?
C C: He's just a little puppy, only 9 months old.
S: Well, first I'd recommend you get him neutered, that would probably help the issue alot.
C C: Oh, I think he's way too young, though.. why would he be acting this way!?
S: He is certainly old enough, what kind of dog is he?
C C: I'm not sure what kind of dog he is. He's very small though, only (?????) 55 lbs.
S: Well, he is old enough, you should also think about making sure you watch him when he is outside, chances are at his age he may start wandering to find a female.
C C: REALLY??
S: Yes, he is actually old enough to father a litter of puppies. Can I get you an estimate on how much neutering him will cost?
C C: Well.. isn't there some food I can give him, so he'll stop the humping??
What S wanted to say: Sure, come on over and get a big bag of Hump-be-gone, and that will solve the problem. I don't know WHY I didn't mention that to begin with!
Patience of a saint! How could you not burst out laughing!!!??