Do the Humpty Hump

Today's hilarious phone conversation was relayed to me by S, one of our awesomely patient receptionists.

Clueless Client:  Hi, I just don't know what I should do, my little puppy has already started humping things.  What can I do to stop him from doing that?

S:  How old is he?

C C:  He's just a little puppy,  only 9 months old.

S:  Well, first I'd recommend you get him neutered, that would probably help the issue alot.

C C:  Oh, I think he's way too young, though.. why would he be acting this way!?

S:  He is certainly old enough, what kind of dog is he?

C C: I'm not sure what kind of dog he is.  He's very small though, only (?????) 55 lbs.

S:  Well, he is old enough, you should also think about making sure you watch him when he is outside, chances are at his age he may start wandering to find a female. 

C C:  REALLY?? 

S: Yes, he is actually old enough to father a litter of puppies.   Can I get you an estimate on how much neutering him will cost?

C C:  Well.. isn't there some food I can give him, so he'll stop the humping??

What S wanted to say:  Sure, come on over and get a big bag of Hump-be-gone, and that will solve the problem.  I don't know WHY I didn't mention that to begin with!

Patience of a saint!  How could you not burst out laughing!!!??