Friday, December 10, 2010

Parental Discretion Advised

You've been warned. 

So this post is about the "creative"  terms owners use to describe their pet's private parts.  I can't help's just too funny. I can't keep it to myself any longer.

For the girls: 
One client calls it the "little wee-er".   I have no idea of the correct spelling of Wee-er, and since I doubt even Wikapedia has a definition, I'm going to go with that spelling.  This term would be used in a sentence like this:  "Be sure you trim her little Wee-er short".  Nice.     Then of course there is "Hoo haw", and the ever popular "down there". 

For the boys:
I'm just going to start with a quote.  "be sure you leave some hair on his dingleberries, so they don't get cold"  Really?  What do you think it will look like if the dog has a very short haircut, but a pom pom over his testicles??  Not good.  Boy dog owners are not as original as the girl dog owners.  They use the old standbys such as "weiner" and "pee pee". 

The absolute worst is when the owners use gestures to get their point across.   This is really disturbing when they motion to their own "areas" (front and back, I might add) to get their point across.  Wow. 

Then, we have some interesting terms relating to the back end of their dog.  Of course anal glands get mis-pronounced more often than anything else.  We have the people that want me to "do his annuals"  or "annubile glands"  One hand written note asked if I could please "break his glands"  (OUCH...WTH?)    One client wanted me to please trim off the "bodags" on her Sheltie..I was stumped, so I had to ask for more detail.  She was shocked that I didn't know that bodag was a commonly used term for dried stool stuck to a dog's rear.  I didn't learn that term in grooming school. 

We also get quite a few clients who apparently would like to forget altogether that their dog actually has certain parts of their anatomy.  Many clients don't like to see their dog's anus, and request that we leave hair over it.  Not the easiest feat, to make that look good.  And, anyway, if I leave hair there, won't that just invite bodags to form?? (I'm just sayin)  One owner was unhappy with her 6 month old Shih Tzu for holding her tail up all the time...she hoped that when the dog got older  it would carry her tail she wouldn't have to see the offensive body parts.  One client left us this note: " Please leave some hair, so his penis doesn't show".  Perhaps a female dog would've been a better choice here. 

I told you...I can't make this stuff up!


  1. Fantastic!! Not much else to say, so true and sooo funny!

  2. Hahahahahahah....I am crying I am laughing so hard, I think I'm going to rip my stomach muscles. You should put these in a book.

  3. Too too funny. I laughed so hard I was wheezing.

  4. The day after I posted this, a man wanted a price quote on his little mixed breed. I was explaining what I would do, and how much it would cost, when he interrupted me and said "really, I just want someone to shave his junk for me" :))

  5. "bodags" new to me! In humans they are known as "willnots". You wipe and wipe and they will NOT come off!


  6. Welcome katydogcrazy! HA!! willnots sounds better somehow than bodags!

  7. Ok, this one *literally* had me laughing out loud. Of course, who'm I to gloat? My daughter may never forgive me for always referring to our dog's planned neutering appointment as his "snip-and-chip" (accurate, to the point and it rhymes - what's not to like?!) :D

  8. Welcome, MG! Snip and Chip! I love it!